(20 points to whomever gets that movie reference!)

We adopted Ben just under a year ago.  We've both grown rather fond of the big doofus, even if he does damn near eat us out of house and home.  He's 2 1/2 now, which is apparently adolescence in dog years.

And boy howdy, does he show it.

A few months into winter this year, Ben picked up the unenviable habit of chasing cars.  He's also big on lying in the middle of the road, which is obviously problematic.  However, it's the car chasing that got him into trouble.  He doesn't chase all cars, but is definitely big on diesel trucks, which makes sense; his previous owners had one.  Ben's love of hanging out in the road has been reinforced by some of our neighbors, who will drive by, roll down the window, and reach out to pet him.  We love that our neighbors like him, but it's a bit of a problem.

Especially when I'm down in Denver and I get a call from Greg telling me that Animal Control has stopped by, due to complaints from some of the neighbors about Ben and his car-chasing habits.  Even more so when Ben chases the woman's car down the driveway. *sigh*  Hello, written warning.

The snow was too high to put him anywhere without some major overhaul, so we let him run for a few days.  Until, that is, I was awakened by the joint sounds of Ben barking and a car horn honking like mad.  My decision to pen him up was only reinforced by me calling Ben, having him turn to look at me and wag his tail, and then him joyfully taking off to chase another truck. 

I managed to wrangle open the snowed-in gate to the upper pen and tried to entice Ben to come in.  The closest I could get was the opposite side of the driveway, but when I tried to grab the scruff of his neck to lead him in, Ben just dropped to the ground and went limp.  Cue me dragging a completely passive 150-lb-or-so dog across the driveway, up a hill, and into the upper pen.  It was one hell of a workout, and Ben was filthy by the time I was done.

So, for the last couple of months, Ben has been relegated to the upper pen.  We know we need to get a trainer out here to work with him on collar and leash (at the very least), but the last several months have been apeshit 'round here.  And we're broke. *sigh*  So Ben has been hanging out in the pen, barking waaaay too much for our enjoyment, but otherwise doing just fine.

Last week, I got a call from a concerned neighbor regarding Ben and his lack of shelter.  I told her that we had plans to put our lean-to back up, but we'd had to wait until the snow melted enough.  I mentioned that I'd gone out there that morning, but the wood was too saturated with water for me to lift--and that I was leaving that afternoon to go to Denver for several days.  In addition, I told her about Ben's heavy double coat, that his breed was intended as an outdoor working dog, and really, he was just fine.  We'd had the bottom door of the hay shed open for him during the winter when it was really cold, but it was barely getting below freezing these nights.

However, when I got back from Denver, we'd received another call from Animal Control.  As suspected, the current complaints were about Ben's lack of shelter.  Greg tried to tell her about Ben being a working guard dog, to which she wanted to know what, exactly, he was guarding.  We also told her that we couldn't keep him in the lower pen with the goats or on the deck because he could jump out, so we kept him in the one place we could.  Despite the fact that Ben is the exact same mix-breed of dog that guards the sheep in the high country all winter long, Animal Control was only mollified at the promise of a shelter (horses, cattle, and sheep on open range don't get shelter, and Ben's got a longer, thicker double coat than any two of those species combined).  We got the lean-to up earlier this week, and I've seen him use it exactly once.  Most of the time, even when offered bare earth, Ben is perfectly content to lay in the snow.

And then there's the barking.  When I was in Denver, I picked up a static shock anti-bark dog collar after much consultation with a trainer and pet store manager.  I trimmed a little of the hair at Ben's throat this morning and fastened the collar on.  It sort-of worked for maybe 5 minutes, but has been fuck-all useful the rest of the day.  Looks like I'm going to have to break out the beard trimmer and have a go at the thick hair around his neck in order to get the collar to fit properly.

I wonder if I can get away with using Greg's. o.O
 
So.  Aside from swearing at goats and chasing turkeys, I (Erica) am a massage therapist.

In school, they talk about some of the downsides of having a home office:  you have to beware of the phone ringing, or the dog barking.

However, they never mentioned the downside to having a tom turkey totally going off as a possible detraction for clients.

O lord, how is this my life?

>.<
 
I have decided that this should be our business motto.

Unfortunately, the goats seem to agree.

I still have three goats awaiting their final home in the freezer, along with two turkeys and seven or so rabbits.  Nary a word has been heard from Uncle Mark. *sigh*

The goats are all in the lower pen, as the heads, feet, entrails, and various other kibbles 'n' bits have been covered by the snow in the upper pen.  Over the last several weeks, the gate has gotten further . . . and further . . . and further away from the linking post.

Yesterday afternoon, it seems that that distance finally reached critical mass.  I came home to find the goats climbing up the hill behind my parked car.  There was much yelling.  There was much clambering around whilst wearing my work uniform from the fancy-schmancy spa.  (*sigh*)  There was, unsurprisingly, a fair amount of swearing. 

Yet!  I managed to get them all corralled back in the pen, closed it and blocked off the opening with an elaborate spider's web of chain, rubber bungee cord, and baling twine (don't laugh!  MacGuyver would wet himself to get this shit when he needed it!).

. . . a spider's web that failed within 30 seconds of being confronted by an inquisitive, cabin-fevered goat.*

*facepalm*

So, yeah.  This morning involved a garden shovel, some yelling, and a small amount of swearing.

Picture
Mr. Ben
Letting the goats run around would be less of an issue if it weren't for Ben.  Ben, although he is an Outdoor Dog, needs a little shelter, especially on those -20 nights.  There were Plans to build him a dog house, but no time or money for supplies. 

A week or so ago, I realized that if I opened the bottom part of the Dutch door to the hay shed, Ben could make his way in there and sleep!  Rather than a small hole dug in the side of the ground, he could have a shed to himself, partially insulated with hay bales and with loose hay for him to make a bed upon.

Yay!  A winning solution for all, right?

Well . . . the goats know where their food comes from.  Free-roaming goats means, in very short order, a hay shed eviscerated and torn to shit.

*sigh*  Cue lots more work with the shovel this morning.  At least the gate shuts now, and that they waited until I had enough Cope to deal with them.

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* Want to know what a cabin-feverish goat looks like?  In this case, literally bouncing off the walls.  Plus, the goat in question would put his front feet up on the wall, stand on his hind legs, and do a sort of backbend until he was looking at you upside down.  He'd eyeball you with one eye, then the other, then both.  And let's just say that rectangular goat pupils are creepy enough without the goat attempting mind control.